Tuesday, November 25, 2003

After months of inactivity, the 2nd hand blower dryer, in the upstairs workplace toilets, has been replaced. Unfortunately it's much more "Doldrums" than "Roaring Forties". This results in a lottery for the users of the facilities on exit. The point at which you grab the handle on the door to exit the facilities (usually with one finger) is crucial, so as to avoid further wetness transfer. One likes to think it is just water, but the "Cocktail Peanut Bowl" urban legend is never far from thought.

Monday, November 24, 2003

Life in the Slow Lane
"Just In Time" is a supply concept. In the good old days, stores used to keep ample supplies of stock so, for example, if you desired a radiator cap for a 1974 Ford Granada Ghia 2.8, chances were you could trot along to your local spares shop of your choice and purchased said item. However, keeping stock and judging what peiople would like to buy is expensive, so that is why when you wish to purchase, say, a bottom hose for a 2001 Peugeot 307 GLX 1.6L, you will be greated with the reply "It will be in tommorrow". What does this mean for the casual reader of this column? Why am I 'banging on' about this? Well at this time of year, i.e. approaching xmas, consumer demand is high and there is only one way which your stock of artificial 5ft xmas trees is going to be transported from huge warehouse in Milton Keynes, to the distribution depot just off the M3....thats right.. hefty big juggernauts. Multiply this by say... 10,000 and it goes someway to explaining why it now takes 15 mins to get onto the M20 at J6 Westbound t 7am in the morning and another 20mins to queue onto the M26.
Journey Time: 1.3 plays of "I Am Sam" soundtrack CD.

Obscene Grime Squad
"HONK IF YOU SMELL OF WEE!" inscribed on the back of a medium sized white removal type truck, on the northern summit approach of the A229.

Thursday, November 20, 2003

Life in the Slow Lane
Grime graffiti has been low to non-existent of late, although "Also available in Grey" was spotted on the back of a grey transit van, exiting off J10 of the M23.
However today there were 24 Chimney Pots spotted on the back of a pick-up, going clockwise around the M25 between J5a (aka Clackett Lane) and J6. Journey was slow, but at least gave me chance to play "Abbey Road" all the way through and "Golden Slumbers/Carry that Weight/In The End" at least three times... made me smile.
Little Victory
2 x 1p found on floor by coffee machine; Net profit 2p.

Collected Gains
Small change "Smash" tin cashed in; Sum Total 44.92UKP

Tuesday, November 18, 2003

Current Spin(s) aka "A Stuart McConie Moment"

Tales of a Librarian - Tori Amos : Tori's children given a new lease of life. Whilst not going the full Bon Jovi route in completely revamping her 'Hits' package (re: "This left Feels Right") these songs have been lovingly  remixed, re-mastered and  re-recorded, to the extent that it's an essential purchase for the  Toriphiles. With  some new tunes thrown in  and a bonus DVD edition for the die-hard completists (if you bought all 5 "Strange Little Girls" you'll get both the 'standard' and 'limited edition' versions), ToaL could be the "Collection CD" of the season. If only all retrospective releases were as good as this.

Tori Amos... simply stunning

Little Defeat
Campachino (still) 18p; Inserted 50p; returned 27p; Net Loss 5p.

Saturday, November 15, 2003

Things I learned This Week
a) This is the funniest thing I've seen in years
b) Milton Keynes is a lot further than you think
c) Reading isn't that much nearer
d) That Wortip Crispy Chicken tastes as good as I remembered (recovering vegetarian news)
e) ... as did the Spare Ribs

Current Spins
Rush - In Rio : AWESOME as you would expect
REM - In Time : Best of thingy, with limited edition B-sides : Good Rarities collection
Robert Plant - Sixty Six to Timbuktu : Made me realise that RP solo career has actually been quite good... no "Burning Down One Side" or "Pledge Pin" though
Bon Jovi - This Left feels Right (Limited Edition with DVD) : Just for "Wanted Dead or Alive"
Paul Oakenfold - Great Wall : Heard the Bjork "Pagan Poetry" re-mix in HMV... had to purchase
Limp Bizkit - Results may Vary : Great album, despite losing Wes... however "Behind Blue Eyes" is unforgivable
Bob Dylan - The Essential Bob Dylan : Nice stop gap until I have the lot. No "Most of the Time" which really is essential.

Saturday, November 08, 2003

Things we learned this week
a) How to spell "traceability"
b) The Vauxhaul Vectra 2.2 SRi is a great car with illogical indicator control
c) Manchester on 5th November is like the Somme