Friday, February 28, 2003

Grime Report
After almost losing hope for the morning , a real gem spotted on the back of a white ford transit "RSTURBO24V", oh the hilarity.

Life in the Slow Lane
Honourable mention to a red van driver, who broke down on the roundabout off J10 on the M23 and has never heard of the concept of pushing your vehicle to a position that wouldn't cause inconvienice to other motorists. Time delay of 7 tracks of REM's "Document".

Thursday, February 27, 2003

Grime Graffiti
Two very bad examples of amateur cartooning. First example was a very simple dog like caricature, reminiscent of one of the Banana Splits (possibly Bingo). The second was a scary wild-eyed affair which was very "Blue Meanie" this was accompanied by a simply arrow pointing at said Blue Meanie, with the word "Mick" annotating the aforementioned pointer. Laughter ensued.
Special mention to a plain container being hauled by a DHL truck that actually had the letters "DHL" inscribed in the grime. Is it company policy?

Wednesday, February 26, 2003

Urban Legend?
Is there any truth in the rumour that one of Jacque Costeau's leading divers was shot dead over a boundary dispute with a neighbour?
Lorry Grime Graffiti
Particular credit must go to a small grey plumbing and central heating van seen on the M20, that had a schematic of a water/central heating system drawn in the dirt on its rear doors.

Tuesday, February 25, 2003

Heard in the Supermarket
Shopper: I'd like to buy some Houmous please
Supermaket Person: Houmous????
Shopper: Yes, Houmous
Supermarket: Oh you mean Humourous?
Shopper: (wearily realising they weren't getting anywhere) errrrrrrrrrrrr......yes
Diary of a Recovering Vegetarian
Being vegetarian for a period of four years meant eating a whole bunch of stuff I never would've dreamed of when I used to eat meat. Cheese and Tomato's were never high on my list, but as a veggie they became almost staple diet. Sundried tomato's became a favourite as did Mozzarella, Emmental, Brie, Boursin...Venezuelan Beavers Cheese (python alert).
Being a recovering vegetarian now means I can try combinations of food that was undreamed of by my bigoted palette of four years ago.
Todays discovery: Ciabatta Bread, Emmantal Cheese, Sundried Tomato and Ham....lush
Life in The Slow Lane
Highlight of the Drive: New antenna mast erected on the clockwise M25 between J5 and Clackets.
There were only two road kills seen today, both indistinguishable red and fur mangles. No Kosovo refugees seen walking on the hard shoulder of the M25 however.
Lorry Grime Graffiti - A poor day, only reported example...."Rhondda Boys are back in Town"...poor quality even for a truck driver.
Oddest sight: Two adjacent Fiat Cinquecentos on the hard shoulder of the M26
Most Bizarre looking vehicle: Fiat Multipla People Carrier
Morning Spins: Radiohead - Pablo Honey.....storming ****1/2

Monday, February 24, 2003

Ban Fox Hunting...Build More Roads
Look, nobody likes fox hunting with dogs, but we do need more roads. Judging by the number of road kills spotted on the motorway each morning surely the ideal solution is just to build more more roads! Keeps all the motorists happy and we kill more foxes as a by-product.