Health and Safety Gone Mad?



Dear Bemuddlement,
You have been observed at 11:13 hours on the 16.03.07 turning right at the (Name Removed) exit onto the dual carriageway. The exit is a left turn only as stipulated by the Highways Authority.
This action could cause a danger to others and breaches the guidelines which were issued via the Intranet on the (Date Removed) . All the road makings and signage used on the site comply with the Highway code and are in place for your safety and that of your colleagues. Failure to follow them can cause a serious accident.
Health and safety is taken very seriously and as such please ensure that in future you adhere to both the signage and the road markings. Failing to follow the guidelines on another occasion will be brought to the attention of both your Business Director and HR Business Partner who may wish to talk to you directly about these breaches of Health and Safety.
These guidelines have been put in place for everyone's safety and are available on the Health and Safety website if you need to review them
Regards
(Name Removed)

ESC4P3

Last night I journeyed to the Hammersmith "Liver Damage" Apollo to see a band that recorded one of my favourite albums of all time, that band being Journey. Me and a friend from work left Bemuddlement Towers at around 5:30pm and by 6:40pm we were outside "the Trout" for the traditional imbibing of the pre-gig foaming Pevo. Suitably refreshed, we then headed for the venue.
Inside was heaving, however the merchandising was curious. No tour programmes but a rather nice selection of T-shirts, hot pants and even a Journey styled Soccer shirt. Given that the average audience age was approximately between 35 and 90 I suggested that maybe a stylish blazer would have been more appropriate, but sadly, none were available.
The support started at 7:45pm. I hate support acts, they just irritate me. I explained to my colleague that I have felt this way since I saw the lead singer of the "House of Lords" badly injure himself trying to slam dive into the crowd at an Iron Maiden show in December 1989. I think the phrase "the crowd parted like the Red Sea" was involved somewhere. My friend bought a tour T-shirt... I did not. I gave all mine to charity in 2005... I think I still have my "Page and Plant Unplugged", but I maybe mistaken. I have yet to open all the boxes that went into storage in 2006.
So, having elected to skip the support act, it was time for another beer. At the Carling Apollo, all you can by is Carling Lager... we should've stayed at "The Trout".
Journey came on at 8:45pm and left at 10:40pm.... they were brilliant. Please refer to other sites for detailed reviews.
I sat next to a fat Greek. I know this, because he was texting throughout the show using the Greek alphabet... he may have been a Greek Scholar, but he didn't look the sort.
One train ride and a Steak and Guinness pasty later, we arrived back at Bemuddlement Towers. I showed Mrs Bemuddlement a clip I recorded on my mobile phone. It was unintelligible.
Next month I'm seeing James Taylor. Nobody I met last night was impressed... especially the Toto fans.

Explanation of Commuting, Cartoon Stunt Guitarist and Recovering Vegetarian: #1 Commuting



Many people have asked me "Bemuddlement? What exactly does the title "Commuting, Cartoon Stunt Guitarist and Recovering Vegetarian" mean? Well it's not that long a story and maybe all these lines are not relevent anymore, but I feel that as I feel I am approaching an evermore productive period of writing, I'd give all my faithful readers out there an explanation.

Commuting refers to the fact that I used to perform a round trip of 90 miles to work and back 5 days a week and as you will see from previous posts, there was an awful lot to think about and an awful lot of "stream of consciousness" going on. I no longer travel that amount of distance. There is not a lot to inspire a driver on the M25, apart from road kills, parts of vehicles in the French guttering (I even learned what that was) and the occasional quip inscribed on the side of a van, such as "Clean Me" or "I wish my wife was as dirty as this van".

I now commute far less (55 miles a day) and the journey is far more inspiring, often choosing a cross-country route in preference to the dreaded M25. My guess is that the future will see the amount of commuting decreasing over the next 5 years, particularly if government policy on Carbon emissions filters into the workplace. Working from home will (hopefully) increase and the number of days in the office with inevitable decrease as a cause.

Looking back, I've done some crazy travelling, but I always said that there was something very bizarre and decadent about drinking tea and eating scones at 33,000ft at 5pm in the afternoon after a day trip between London and Edinburgh. Chin! Chin!

BLOGGER CHANGED!!!!

Bemuddlement blogger is now undergoing a substantial revamp in line with the new google tools. Stay tuned.