Monday, March 31, 2003

Life Imitating Grime
"DIESEL" spotted on the back of a VW Diesel Golf. Also a rather surreal "BUG" on the back of a Royal Mail truck...most odd.
Repeat Grime Offender

A Grime tastic morning today, even saw the same truck with "TRIGGER HAPPY YANKS" scribbled on it. I am never failed to be amazed at the quality of inscriptions seen on the back of white vans. They act as small portals on the intellect of the noble creature that is the "White Van Driver". Two fine examples seen today..

"I wish my wife was as dirty as this"
"My ar*e is cleaner than this van

Saturday, March 29, 2003

Great Unsung Led Zeppelin Song
Whilst playing the entire Led Zeppelin back catalogue back on MP3 tonight. Isn't "For Your Life" just awesome?. Q Led Zep special out this month...essential. This track didn't even make the top 50 Zep tunes....."Ten Years Gone" made #5 though. This will make Romy, Lilo and one very cool guy in a local guitar shop very very happy. I urge you all to worship at the alter of Jimmy Page..I just had to include this scan from the Q special. Those of us that play...understand that look, that pose, that exhilaration...and we know it's for real...not posed.
That's why for me Jimmy will always be the master......
Saturday is Alright for a Grime
A very rare "WASH ME!" spotted on the back of a very grime encrusted VW golf, plus, on the back of a medium sized white removal van "I LOVE SEX". Both spotted on the upper tributaries of the M20.

Friday, March 28, 2003

Grime Plan
A small road map of a housing estate spotted on the back of a white hire transit van. Impressive.

Thursday, March 27, 2003

Sex Grime
Spoted on the back of a truck on the Crawley Way approaching J10 of M23, "If my wife was as dirty as this, I'd hire her out". We laughed.
Little Defeats
Coffee machine swallowed my 20p and refused to dispense frothy cup of "campachino". Net loss 20p.
Fellow Blogger
Where is Raed (for those of you who don't know) is the blogger of a Baghdad citizen. Take it at face value, like everything on the Internet.
Political Grime

"TRIGGER HAPPY YANKS" read this informed piece of social comment on the back of a haulage lorry at the M20/M26 westbound interchange this morning.
Tuesdays grime made me laugh, today's incensed me. All I can say is that,
a) I'd rather be on the U.K side than the Iraq side
b) I'd rather live in the U.K than Iraq.

War is unpleasant, never desirable, but sometimes, you just have to kick someone's butt, especially when the only language they understand is violence, torture, aggression, dictatorship and oppression. Diplomacy and Democracy works best when your dealing with democratic States that embrace the diplomatic process, not those that use it as a veil to continue covert, illegal activities that endanger millions of peoples lives.

Finally, I hope for the well-being of ALL involved in this conflict be they coalition or Iraqi. My thoughts are with them, their families and their friends. I hope for swift, peaceful solution soon.

Tuesday, March 25, 2003

Graffiti Grime
This one actually made me laugh, on the back of a medium sized truck approaching the M20. "WASH ME" was crossed out and replaced with "BURN ME".

Friday, March 21, 2003

Quote of the day...
"You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, France is accusing the US of arrogance and Germany doesn't want to go to war."
"One for Sorrow"
Well it was for one magpie, spotted splattered in the French Guttering, on the M26.
"Buddy can you spare be a grime?"
An uninspiring grime day today. "THOMPSON'S" was spotted on the back of a Co-Op delivery van and anther very common "CLEAN ME!" on the back of a small white hatchback van. Both spotted on God's own Car Park, the M25.

Urban Myth Destroyed
GPS accuracy report : 6m

Thursday, March 20, 2003

Du Sprechts Zwiebel, Ich Spreche Swiebel
It could be that the German grime graffiti spotted below, may not have been "Zwiebel", the German word for Onion, but "Swiebel" the surname of Dutch MEP Joke Swiebel
Sky News Nearly Fooled
Well I was almost convinced that Gulf War 2: "This Time It's Personal" was going to kick off last night as Sky News dragged Kay "I've broke every major news story for the last 12 years" Burley out of bed for the midnight to 3am slot. It was looking dodgy, but luckily it kicked off at 2:30am and face was saved.
"Springgrime for Hitler"
Good to see our Teutonic cousins getting in on the act, "Markus + Arija = Sex" spotted on the side of a German juggernaut on the M25 approaching J6 on the clockwise carriageway this morning.
Also spotted was "ZWEIBEL", but why anyone would scribe the German word for Onion on the side of a truck escapes me (unless it was carrying onions of course).
We know that "CLEAN ME" is a very common grime graffiti spot, but this was seen on the back of a Black Fiesta on the M23 approaching J9, a rare combination.
And Finally a beautiful picture of a dog very reminiscent of a Lascaux cave painting, driven by a man very reminiscent of a Lascaux caveman.

Life In The Slow Lane
Most Spectacular Sight: 4x4 car fire on the M23
Nostalgia Motor Moment: A rather fine 1973 Wolseley Six

Wildlife Tip
Look out for squirrels laying dead and perfectly formed in tree-lined avenues. These are the ones that miss the branch and plummet to their deaths onto the tar macadam. Two already spotted in one week. Gene-pool elimination is a wonderful thing.

Wednesday, March 19, 2003

Little Defeats
Vending machine failed to dispense packet of Walkers Beef and Onion flavoured crisps(suitable for vegetarians, 181 calories). Net loss 28p.

Tuesday, March 18, 2003

Grime and Misdemeanours
The back of the beer delivery lorry, spotted on the M20, had the words "John Smith's EXTRA SMOOTH" almost obliterated by grime. Creative credit must be given to the person who then uncovered the "TH" in "SMOOTH" and added "FC", to spell out the abbreviation for the club who reside at Three-point Lane (as us Chelsea supporters have come to know it.
Oh there was one "Clean Me!" spotted as well.

Sunday, March 16, 2003

"I Don't like Spam"
Why would I be interested in a video featuring a mass horde of aggressive, nasty, young people, suffering from premature hair loss? I presume that's what "10,000 Bald Teen C*nts" refers to?

Wednesday, March 12, 2003

Not-so-obscure Pop/Rock Music Trivia Fact #2
Jimi Hendrix, although left-handed, primarily played a right-handed Fender Stratocaster, but strung correctly for a left-handed player.
Grime Up North
"Beware Dog In Back" and to the left on the back of the same van a drawn game of noughts and crosses. Above the drawn match the words "It Doesn't Look Good" didn't.

Monday, March 10, 2003

Shock of the Day
Penny Smith is 45 ??????????
Little Victories
5p left in coffee machine. Cappuccino 13p instead of 18p.
Not-so-obscure Pop/Rock Music Trivia Fact #1
When Dexy's Midnight Runners performed "Jackie Wilson Said" on Top of the Pops, it was performed in front of a screen bearing an image of Scottish Darts supremo, Jockie Wilson. Intentional/unintentional? We shall never know.

"'s written in the Grime"
Well what started off as a potential refugee sighting (a common sight walking the hard shoulders of the Kentish motorway system) actually turned out to be driver of this mornings grime graffiti "Free Celtic Spirit". Ironic that it was scrawled on the back of a broken down Anglican Windows van.

Sunday, March 09, 2003

DAB Delay
Well the TotD below then got me into scientific analysis mode, as there is a noticeable difference between the reception times of FM Broadcast and DAB.

Station : BBC Radio2

Equipment Used
FM reception 1 : Roberts R9906 RDS
FM Reception 2 : Hauppauge FM Primio TV Card
DAB reception 1 : PURE Evoke -1
DAB reception 2 : Modular Technology PCI Card

Roberts R9906 vs Hauppauge FM Primio Card
There was no perceivable time delays between the two FM Receivers. Steve Wright "Sunday Morning Love Songs" could be clearly heard without even the slightest reverb effect during simultaneous reception.

Roberts R9906 vs Modular Technology PCI Card
Here a clear delay could heard measured at approximately 2.75 seconds.

Roberts R9906 vs PURE Evoke -1
Delay of approx 1 second was measured.
Re-discoveries of a Recovering vegetarian
Sausage rolls from a bakery.
Thought for the Day
Given that there is a clear delay between FM broadcast radio and DAB broadcast radio, can we ever trust the time signal pips again once the UK government switch off analogue radio, or will they transport all radio presenters forwards in time by 2.2 seconds to compensate?

Friday, March 07, 2003

Life In The Slow Lane
The M26 has often been described as the longest slip road in Britain. True, with 9 miles of almost uninterrupted 4-lane tarmac (yes two lane carriageway motorways do still exist), it could well lay claim to slip road status. An argument further enhanced when the motorway is actually closed. So three cheers for the car transporter that caught fire this morning, closing the west bound carriageway. Even more praise for the convoy of juggernauts who decided to 'self-regulate' the traffic slow by PARKING on the inside lane of the London M20 (which was taking the diverted M26 traffic) helping to cause a 4-mile tailback.
Time Delay: 1.2 Plays of Blondie's "Parallel Lines"

M25 J4 > J5 >> A21
Still the above diversion did allow me to sample what has to be the worst and most badly designed stretch of the M25 directly. Between J4 and J5 the M25 goes from three lanes to four. Fantastic you may think, but at J5 it splits into two....two lanes for the M25 and two lanes for the A21, BUT the majority of the traffic (M25) gets filtered out to the Left, whilst the A21 continues at break-neck speed on the right. All the M25 traffic then goes into this twisty descending section, which feels like you've just come off the motorway.
Worse still is that the two lanes of the M26 the come in from your left and then ANOTHER two lanes from the northbound A21 kick in. Coupled with J5a 4 miles on (aka Clackett Lane Services), it all equals CHAOS.
And they want to charge people for driving on this????

Grime and Punishment
Poor day, despite the 100+ trucks parked on the M20. "Big White Van" was one example that comes to mind

Thursday, March 06, 2003

It's Written In The Grime
Oh the joy! Our first "Clean me!" and "Also Available in White" spotted. Quite common but still a joy

Tuesday, March 04, 2003

Little Victories
Cappuccino from vending machine that should have cost 18p, only cost 17p.
Life In The Slow Lane
Well actually stationary. Isn't it about time they made Clackett Lane J5a of the M25? The chaos it causes merits junction status.
Time Delay: 3 tracks of Tatu's "200 km/h in the wrong lane".....if only

Oddest Sight: A Large stuffed toy orangutan in the passenger seat of a white pick-up Lorry

Road Kill Count: 1 rather mutilated collection of fur and bones, hard shoulder M26.

Inscribed in the dirt on the back of a Transco Van on the M25 was this piece of graffiti which some thoughtful soul decided to wipe out a few key words.

"Joe XXXXXX, XXXXXX's his Mum and His XXXX Dad"

Monday, March 03, 2003

Arsenal vs Chelsea live BBC1 Saturday 5:05pm...... still a miracle may happen
Worrying Beloved Blues Stat
11pts from their last 10 Premiership Games.........and we've got Arsenal at Highbury in the FAC on Saturday.
Life in the Slow Lane
Spectacular credit must be given to the owner of a Red 200 Series Rover that spun out on the M20 this morning. 90 degs in the hard shoulder with some collected real estate under the front spoiler. A rather guilty German juggernaut was seen leaving the scene.
Time Delay: 2 tracks of the Foo's "One By One"

Thought for The Day
I wonder if Willy Betz, Norbert Dentresangle and Eddie Stobart ever get together for a pint?

Sunday, March 02, 2003

Web Page Annoyance #1
Cursor animations that trail your mouse on a website.

Saturday, March 01, 2003

How nice of him to send me another e-mail inviting me share in his business plans again. Although Nigeria is one of the last places to chose for Political Asylum, surely?